Gopher Patrol,  Thoughts on the Swing

The Battle of Neowise

So, I thought I would venture out this evening to witness an astrological wonder. I walked to the top of my driveway and sat in the grass… looking to the north.

I did manage to see the whispy outline of the Neowise Comet just above the horizon. I leaned back in the cool evening breeze that often graces our ridge line above our property; And as I gazed at the dark star lined sky’s above I feel a familiar sting. I was apparently sitting next to a yellow jacket nest. Good thing was, at this time of night, they were not eager to come out and greet me in a more significant fashion.

So, the sting started really stinging… and I thought I should maybe get some Benadryl or something. I walk down my long driveway approaching the street light next to my barn. All of a sudden there is a gopher trying to cross my driveway. I stopped and look down at him. He stops and looks up at me.

One of us will be ended this night..

I cocked my leg in true praying mantis fashion. My kick snap was as good as it ever was, but the varmint was still looking at me in disdain as my slipper disappeared into the night… somewhere on my neighbors property. Yes, ninja moves and slippers are not particularly feasible, especially at night.

Now for you folks that are live and let live, and I get it, I’m mostly a pacifist, but that thing hissed at me like l wasn’t still armed with one last slipper. And it was headed to an apple tree I planted for my mom. So I proceeded to beat a gopher to death with my remaining slipper.

When the battle was over I cast its carcass out into my neighbors field as a morning snack for anything that won’t try to eat or sting me in the process. Which brings me to the final glorious moment having to climb over the neighbors fence barefooted to go looking for my slipper. For whatever reason, I did not step on a hornets nest.

I found the slipper.

As for the comet, Good grief.

Db 7-15-2020

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